Saturday, December 30, 2006

Saddam Hussein - Executed

Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh MY!

Recently overheard on the other end of my cell phone:

"I don't know what to think of Saddam's execution, was it a fair trail? I'm very suspicious of anything our goverment does so I just can't be sure. Plus I'm opposed to capital punishment."

"There are so many other dictators out there, why him?!"

"I'm shocked, this happend so fast."

Perhaps a quick slap and a splash of cold water will make you all come to your senses.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

AZNs and their non AZN lovers Part I

"Let's go get some Boba guys... YaY"

SLAP in the nutz.

Navajo & Quantum Physics

"Did you know that the Navajo people... or perhaps its the Hopi... well one of those guys, I don't remember... did you know they're quite peculiar in that their language is best suited for the understanding of specific principles of quantum physics. You know quarks and leptons and heisneberg, and all that stuff. Its AMAZING!"

Straight up slap to the old noggin. You ignorant bastards.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Happy PC Holidays!

"Merry Chrismakwanzakkah!"

a special post christmas slap to all holiday euphemizers!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Bedside Manner in Beslan

"I think it is important to understand the role of the freedom fighter in Chechnya when discussing the Beslan school massacre. Until Chechnya becomes an independent Islamic state, these tragedies will continue and it will be the fault of Russia for repressing the Muslim cause for self-determination via the imposition of a caliphate and the Sharia in the southern Caucasus."

A PUNCH in the lung and a SLAP on the chin!!!

Of Samurai & Men

Have your friends ever made the following comments?

"The Last Samurai is one of the greatest movies ever!"
"The Last Samurai kicked ass!"
"I loved the Last Samurai, especially Ken Watanbe's role"
"It's one of my favorite movies!"
"Amazing how everyone dies except Tom Cruise, absoluetly amazing!"

These all deserve at least two direct punches to the jugular.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Responsibility

"This week has been super stressful...I have two communications midterms and my sorority is hosting a joint cocktail party with the boys of Theta Xi...I really don't know how I do it all."

SLAP on the behind!

After 9-11

"You know...9/11 really demonstrated how America is the most corrupt country in the world."

A KICK in the boys and a SLAP on the face!!!

Three Gorges Damn

"I refuse to use my Citibank card anymore due to CitiGroup's investment and involvement with the construction of China's Three Gorges Damn."

SLAP!!!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Frozen Burrito Fix

Waking up Saturday morning after a night of heavy partying and finding a FROZEN half eaten burrito next to your drooling face.

SLAP!