Joe Biden is from Scranton, PA and I aim to find humor in that!

I created my first t-shirt ever on Zazzle.com . Check it out, buy it if you like it, let's support Obama/Biden and have some fun with it at the same time.

Joe Biden approved this message from Scranton, PA by gurupundit
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Why Kevin is a Jack Ass...

Kevin likes to be a contrarian. He likes to disagree just for the sake of disagreement. Here are a few other reasons I think Kevin is a jackass:

He's a bit moody at times.
He says he's not interested in my articles and commentary, but those are the kinds of things he knows everything about when we're driving in his truck.
He f@*&ing bum rushed, tackled, and put me in a goddamn headlock after our "friendly" football game, a game of which I wasn't even a participant.
He enjoys the company of livestock.

Flag Retirement Dropbox

A real life resolution to my previous Patriotic Post.

Location: Livermore, CA City Hall

Drivers Displaying Tattered American Flags

Honoring Our Country's Loss or Ignorant Desecration of our Country's Greatest Symbol?

After 9/11 I was most certainly one of those "truck-drivers" that proudly donned a small US flag on my radio antenna to honor victims of the tragedy and stand in solidarity with my fellow countrymen. Let's not worry about the fact that my truck was an emerald green extended cab nissan pickup and by no means a Ford F250 or Dodge Ram 3000. After a while the flag began to unravel and I had to retire it.

That was 5 years ago. These days, during my hour-long commute to work, it's not surprising for me to see at least 2 or 3 desecrated flags affixed to car antennae or faded flag stickers on rear glass windows. For some reason this rather careless treatment of the flag really get's me fired up. It's just irresponsible. Do these people think they're being patriotic flying their flag-in-tatters?

The question looms - should we even be featuring flags on our vehicles in the first place? I, like many others, did it rather impulsively back in 2001. However, section 8e of the US Flag Code states:

The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used, or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged in any way.

So perhaps our show of patriotism was misguided? But I'm digressing slightly - in this slap piece, I'm not out to argue the merits of flying a flag on your cart after an event like 9/11 - I'd just like to slap all those folks out there that are still flying the same torn, bug splattered, soiled flag (or utterly faded sticker) after all these years.

Please honor those worn out flags by properly "retiring" them.

Getting Trashed

As in:

1) "Hey guys, let's get trashed this Saturday in the City."
2) "Man I was really trashed, in fact I'm still feeling pretty crappy."

Not as in:

1) "Please take out the trash, as Friday is our garbage day."
2) "Our last tenants really trashed the place, so we're going to have to take a lot out of the deposit for repairs and beautification."

To recap:

"I forgot to take out the trash (wrong) this morning because I got trashed (correct) last night."

This is a unique instance where I must forgo slapping College Freshmen. Instead I must slap myself and my other 20-30something friends for continuing to get trashed despite their age, job description, and purported maturity.

Auto-slap to the back of my aching head.

Please minimize any jostling we may experience on this trip back home.

Expensive Restuarants

Sometimes it's ok to pay for atmosphere. Most of the time it's not.

I have a bone to pick with the usual suspects of European cuisine, what's so good about European food? French fondue, Italian rabbit ragoo, German schnitzel. It's not that the food is horrible, it's that these buggers think they can charge an arm and a leg for this stuff.

Slaps all over your freshman face for coveting food that tastes only marginally good.

btw - burgers, french fries, chicken makhni, chicken strips, ranch dressing, grapefruit juice. A Jedi craves only these things.

(auto-slap for the nerdy sci-fi reference)

Ecotourism

Recently overheard at a coffee shop in the penninsula: "Ecotourism will not only save the rainforest, but also the small family farm!"

Slap with a treetrunk and an eggplant.

PS - Remember Eggplant man from Mike Tyson's punch out?